8 Secrets For Keeping Your Relationship On Track

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

~ George Sand

Has your relationship grown stale? Have the two of you fallen into a daily battle of bickering and arguing? Are the two of you on the verge of calling it quits? If so; implement these relationship basics that are foundational to all positive relationships.

1. Acts Of Kindness And Thoughtfulness

Small gestures can make a really big impact on your relationship. Look for ways to surprise your partner such as bringing them their favorite snack or that thing they like that no one else knows about. This says I know you and what you like. If your partner has had a tough day, do something to lighten their load or to comfort them. Do little things on a daily basis to let your partner know you are thinking of them.

2. Effective Communication

Give your full attention when listening to your partner. Put your phone down and turn off the television. Lean slightly forward, maintain eye contact and strive to show interest in what they are saying. If you don’t understand something they are saying then ask for clarification.

3. Build Trust And Dependability

Keep your promises. Be honest, truthful and transparent. Be there for your partner when they need you to be. You want to convey a strong message that you are fully committed to the relationship and that your partner can count on you being there when they need you.

4. Have Fun And Be Playful

Keep your sense of humor. Strive to keep your relationship full of fun and laughter. Be silly together. Look for ways to add a sense of adventure to your relationship. This could include things like traveling to new places or developing hobbies and interests that you can share together.

5. Make Sure You Have Quality Time Together

This can be regular date nights and shared hobbies. Make sure that this doesn’t get one-sided; meaning, don’t let the responsibility of the planning fall onto only one of you. Do not just engage in your hobby, make sure you are engaging in an activity that you both can enjoy. If you have very busy schedules then make sure you make time for your relationship. This can be 10 minutes each morning to have breakfast together. This can also be 15 minutes at bedtime talking about your day or things that are on your mind. Text each other throughout the day to let your partner know you are thinking of them.

6. Be Appreciative Of All Your Partner Does For You

Thank your partner on a regular basis for all of the big and little things they do for you and your relationship. Never stop with this basic manner of appreciation or your partner will feel like you are taking them for granted. Look for things that you can give sincere and genuine compliments about.

7. Develop More Emotional Vulnerability

Talk about your dreams, fears and goals for the future. Be slow to interrupt your partner when they are sharing their thoughts and feelings on these more serious and meaningful topics. Just listen. Strive to understand and to truly show interest in what they have to say. Regularly ask your partner how they are feeling.  Don’t just assume you know. If you plug in at a truly caring and interested level, your partner will share things that will lead you both to a deeper level of connection. Do not use the vulnerable things they share with you in an argument or you could do longstanding damage to your emotional connection.

8. Practice Positive Conflict Resolution Skills

Be someone who can stay calm in an argument or during a tense conversation with your partner. Strive to be a person who responds instead of someone who reacts. Actively listen and strive to understand your partner’s perspective before you respond. Maintain a calm and well-modulated tone of voice. Aim to find a resolution to your problems that works for both of you.

“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.”

~ Kiersten White

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com