The words that you speak, either psyche you up or they psyche you out. Be very mindful of the words that you think and speak because they can either lift you up or wear you out. Do you use any of these common phrases that can lead you down a path of stress and tension?
1) “I have 10 million things to do.”
Saying this phrase can automatically overwhelm us. We will feel like we are drowning in a hopeless situation with no chance of ever getting caught up. Even if the number is lowered to one hundred things to do and the truth is, there are actually 20 things to do, we are still setting ourselves up to feel overwhelmed.
2) “I have a ton of things to do.”
This is a variation of using an exaggerated number of things to do. Now, we are weighing stress instead of feeling the stress. Sometimes I will encourage my clients to be more mindful of their words and they try to merely change the image from one bad image to another.
3) “I’m afraid of my own shadow.”
When I hear a client say this phrase, it sets them up to being afraid to leave their own house. This kind of language will shrink your world over time to where you will no longer be comfortable doing things you used to enjoy or going to places that you may need to go such as the grocery store or the pharmacy.
4) “I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”
Do you feel like you’re going to say or do the wrong thing on a regular basis? Perhaps it is because you use phrases like or similar to this. This phrase promotes a feeling of self-doubt and will make you reluctant to speak your mind or to take positive risks on your own behalf.
5) “I’m a nervous wreck.”
This statement will disempower people in a rapid fashion. It implies they are weak and unable to perform whatever the task may be.
6) “I’m at the end of my rope.”
This sentence references everything has been done that can be done and there is nothing else you can do but hold on for dear life. This one is usually reserved for situations that have been ongoing without much of a break in the pressure.
7) “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck”.
This phrase gives a visual of dramatic proportions that usually comes from people who are dealing with a lot of aches and pains. This visual however only serves to increase the sense of pain and agony. It is far better to say, “I’m really hurting today” than to speak about an unimaginable amount of pain that would come if you had actually been hit by a truck.
8) “I’m always on edge.”
This statement moves the brain into a state of being hyper vigilant. When someone says this, it places the body into a state of unrest and the inability to feel any sense of peace in life because of the feeling that you must constantly be on guard.
9) “I’m about to blow my fuse.”
This one implies you are trying to maintain your sense of self-control but you’re on the verge of losing your temper. This will increase an underlying feeling of tension that will make you have a shorter fuse and will ultimately lead to you losing your temper more often.
10) “I’m furious.”
This statement needs to be diluted because being furious is never a good thing. Reach for a less intense word like upset or frustrated. You might even want to use a silly word like peeved. It is hard to say “I’m peeved” without smiling. The smile and silliness will automatically reduce the pressure and tension of the situation for you.
11) “I’m on the warpath.”
This is another phrase that sets someone up to have a bad day. Any kind of word or phrase like, “I’m livid”, “I’m fuming” ,“I’m about to go ballistic”, “I’m about to flip my lid”, “I’m seeing red” and “I’m about to fly off the handle” are going to add to unwanted stress or tension.
Here are a few simple but actually powerful phrases to use that can combat the above negative and draining phrases:
- I’ve got this
- I choose to have peace of mind.
- I can handle this!
- I always land on my feet.
- This will be a piece of cake.
Say these out loud if possible. Use a confident and well-modulated tone of voice. Use enthusiasm and heart felt emotion to speak life into these statements
Use strong, confident body language when you think or speak these phrases. Stand up straight and tall with your shoulders back. Your eyes need to be upward not looking down at the ground.
Give this your best effort and over time you will stop using the exaggerated phrases altogether. You will notice a greater sense of peace, confidence and ability to handle stress and negative situations in a calmer manner.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com