8 Strategies To Help You Get Your Happiest Holiday Season
“When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
Have you thought about your plans for the holiday season? You probably have a general idea of the menus to prepare and the travel arrangements, but have you considered the interpersonal aspects? You can have all of the logistics planned but if your head and your heart are not on board, the holidays can be disastrous. Here are eight suggestions to help you achieve your ideal Holiday Season:
1) Make No False Assumptions.
If you know Aunt Sarah is going to drink too much because that’s what she has done for the past ten years; don’t kid yourself that this year will be any different. If Mike’s son, Chip, is a holy terror then you need to be prepared for a similar performance this year. Don’t psyche yourself out with enchanted hopes and dreams that most likely won’t happen. I’m not saying that you need to be a pessimist. I’m saying that the truth is still the truth. Factor the truth into your planning process.
2) Remember Those Who Blend In And Never Complain.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease but what about the ones who never give you any trouble. I suggest positive reinforcement as opposed to negative. Don’t bend over backwards for your grandmother who will complain no matter how hard you strive to please her. What about Uncle Eric who is fine with whatever happens. Don’t let your fear of criticism influence you to a point that the few grumblers get your best attention and the better, easy to please guests get overlooked.
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~ Richard Bach
3) Don’t Worry About Things You Cannot Control.
You have no control whether people show up on time. You cannot make everyone be in a good mood. You cannot determine what the weather will be. Some people will be tired and grumpy. Others will be preoccupied with their own agendas. Keep things in perspective.
4) Decide To Enjoy Every Moment.
I am often reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s quote that people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be. I encourage you to make a strong and clear decision to yourself that you are going to enjoy everything that happens. If someone spills gravy on your fancy tablecloth, enjoy the moment versus getting upset and killing the moment. If a dish breaks or Uncle Harry hogs the television remote, enjoy the moment. Decide that nothing is going to spoil your holidays.
“When you marry someone, you marry their entire family.” ~ Kevin Jonas
5) Go With The Flow.
Don’t plan the entire Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering to such a degree that there is no room for flexibility. I believe it’s good to have activities in the hopper but if everyone wants to go to the movies instead of an activity that you have planned; go with the flow. What is the outcome you want to achieve? Do you want to make happy memories or do you want to stick with an agenda?
6) Pay Attention To The Lessons Of Previous Holidays.
Do you plan your biggest meal at the same time of a big football game kick off? Does this cause the men to rush through the meal that has been worked so hard on so they can watch their favorite team? Maybe change the meal time so it reduces conflict and anxiety. By considering previous holiday outcomes, it is more likely you can prevent people from getting hungry, edgy and tired.
“One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor.” ~ Ralph Fiennes
7) Scan Through The Past Year To Make Sure You Don’t Forget Something Crucial.
Has the family lost a dear friend or another member of the family? It is easy to get so caught up in the magic of the holidays that we forget someone else’s pain and loss. Even if you do not acknowledge the loss directly, I encourage you to at least be mindful of it. Perhaps you could acknowledge the loss in the blessing before the meal or make a toast in honor of the person.
8) Can You Create New Traditions?
If you always do what you’ve always done then you are going to keep getting the same results. If you have been stressing yourself by trying to do everything yourself, consider letting others help. Ask people to bring deserts and their specialty dishes. Decorate the tree as a family instead of you scrambling around trying to do it on your own. I love traditions. Are your traditions working for you and your family or is it time to create new ones?
Best of Wishes,
Mark Webb