“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.”
– C. Everett Koop
1) Don’t Compare Your Child To Other Children.
The comparison game is a sure way to prove that you are better than someone else but it’s also a sure way to lose. Your child will always be better than someone else but someone will always be better than your child. This creates anxiety, doubt, and frustration for your child. Teach your child to develop their own sense of worth versus the constant chase and hopeless pursuit of being better than everybody else.
2) Praise Your Child.
Give your child words of encouragement. Point out their positive traits and recognize their accomplishments. Give your child a message of “I Believe In You”. Most people will go to their grave having no one ever speak those words to them.
“If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” – Haim Ginott
3) Don’t Praise Them Too Much.
On the flip side to the above point, you can set your child up to struggle if you overdo the praise thing. They won’t be able to withstand the pressures of failure and defeat that they ultimately will face in the course of their lifetime. Talk to your child about the ups and downs in life and teach them principles of good sportsmanship so that they will know how to respond to both victory and defeat.
4) Screen Your Child’s Friends.
Don’t let your child associate with negatives influences. I’m particularly referencing children who disrespect and talk back to their parents and children who frequently get into trouble. Peer association does have an impact on your child’s development. Be careful about who you let rub off on them.
5) Call Your Child By Name.
Nicknames are nice and have their place but also use your child’s name as well. This is a simple way to promote value to your child. Some parents only do this when they are getting on to their child. I always knew I was in trouble when my mama called me “Mark Richard Webb”.
6) Drag Your Child To Activities That Are Good For Them.
Strive to make your child have a well-rounded upbringing. My mother used to make me and my brothers go to Theatre of the Stars in Atlanta which held Broadway Musical performances. I hated it at the time but I appreciated it greatly as I grew up.
7) Be An Example For Your Child.
The “Do As I Say, Not As I Do Approach” never works. Your child will most likely replicate the things you have demonstrated. Strive to demonstrate confidence for your child. Speak up for what is right. Carry yourself with poise and strength.
“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”– Robert Fulghum
8) Spend Time With Your Child.
Play with them. Read to them. Have them read to you. Listen to them — their hopes, their dreams, and their fears.
“Kids spell love T-I-M-E.” — John Crudele
9) Encourage Group Activities.
It’s important for a child to learn how to interact with other children. Involve your child in activities that set them up to succeed in knowing how to get along with their peers. Sports, Scouting, Sunday School and Choir come to mind as positive environments.
10) Teach Your Child How To Stand Up For Themselves.
Bullies have always existed and the problem seems to be worsening. Teach your child how to handle bully scenarios. If you mention this article to Master Mitchell Church, owner of Performance Martial Arts Academy 229–5068777, he has agreed to give your child a free trial of martial arts classes.
11) Display Trophies and Certificates.
Set up an area within your home to honor your child’s achievements. This can serve as positive reinforcement for the times your child experiences fear and doubt. They will have reminders in plain sight to encourage them onward.
12) Make Your Home The Hangout For Children To Play.
This serves many purposes. You can keep an eye on them; you can have a greater influence, and you can provide supervision.
13) Keep Informed Of What’s Happening At School.
Remember, there’s more to it than just grades.
14) Give Your Child Chores To Do.
My generation had chores and we turned out okay but somehow we forgot the value we gained.
“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”– Abigail Van Buren
15) Encourage Your Child To Take Positive Risks.
Trying out for sport activities, school or community plays, and class leadership to name a few.
16) Train Your Child That They Can Tell You Anything.
If you want to keep the lines of communication open then you can’t overreact when you hear things you don’t like or want to hear.
17) Proper Hygiene.
Teach your child to take pride in their cleanliness and appearance. The presentation does matter. They will feel better about themselves and others will treat them with more respect.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www. TheRelationshipSpecialist.com