Answer these questions to find out:

1. Are you placing work priorities ahead of your marriage?
2. Are most if not all of the conversations between the two of you consumed with the topic of your career(s)?
3. Do you arrive late to important personal events or frequently cancel them because of work?
4. Are you too tired from work to spend time with your spouse?
5. Do you find yourself constantly turning to your spouse as your person to vent work related stress?
6. Do you regularly encourage and take interest in listening to your spouse talk about their day?
7. Are you feeling less patient with your spouse?
8. Are you arguing more with your spouse?
9. Have you stopped having a social life?
10. Are you spending less time with your spouse because you always are too busy with work related issues?
11. Are you taking work home, staying late to work, often going on work related out of town trips but haven’t taken time to plan a vacation or time alone together for you and your spouse to reconnect regularly?
12. When you finally finish work for the day, are you too busy with housework, the children, catching up with yard work or finally binging on that movie series you’ve been meaning to watch before giving priority to your marriage?
13. Have you noticed that your spouse doesn’t listen to you when you speak anymore?
14. Is your spouse using sarcasm to convey their true feelings?
15. Are you happier at work than you are at home, and feel more engaged with your work colleagues than with your spouse?

Here are 16 ways to reprioritize your marriage and correct the problem:

1. Take an honest look at what is happening between your marriage and your career. Is your career interfering with your marriage?
2. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes.  If the roles were reversed, would you be okay with how little quality time you are getting from them?
3. Establish a clear work-life boundary. Leave work at work. Balance work and home life more equitably.
4. Shift your mindset towards being a better spouse. All change occurs in the mind first. Make a definite decision to be a better and more actively involved spouse today!
5. Focus on your marriage first. The marriage transcends your career. Don’t be foolish enough to start working on your marriage once you retire.  It will be too late.
6. Emphasize quality time. Quality is more important than quantity so make sure the time together with your spouse is meaningful.  Make it interactive, fun and creative.
7. Show appreciation towards your spouse. Get in the habit of saying thank you to your spouse. You can never say it enough and make sure you always say it sincerely.
8. Make time to talk with your spouse. At least 15 minutes is necessary for a meaningful conversation to take place. Find a time that works well for both of you to have a conversation. Begin to have more and more of these conversations and make this the moments when you connect with your spouse to see where they are emotionally in their day or in their week.
9. Stop using your cellphone and computer so much. Do your best to set your phone and your laptop off to the side when you are supposed to be at home spending quality time with your spouse.  Let work time be left at work.
10. Ask your spouse if they want to hear you vent. If you need to vent, ask them if they are okay with it. They may be sick of you letting them be your therapist about work related stressors at this point.
11. Find a professional to vent to instead. Perhaps a therapist would be a better outlet for you to vent to and they are equipped at giving good and helpful feedback on stress and time management.
12. Fix the problems. Become determined to correct the problems and create a more balanced lifestyle. Don’t allow yourself to become trapped as a victim who cannot do anything about their work situation.
13. Include your spouse in your decisions and ask for their input. You might be surprised at how helpful they can be at helping you sort through your challenges with your demanding work schedule. You aren’t asking them to fix your problems or allowing them to make your decisions.  You are asking for their input and suggestions.
14. Plan fun activities and don’t cancel them. Couples need time for playfulness. What are some of the things you used to do together?  Think back to when you were happier and more connected and give those activities a chance to feed your marriage with much needed fun. Fun activities don’t need to cost anything, take walks together, hold hands, reconnect emotionally and watch the closeness bloom.
15. Come up with a schedule. Your spouse doesn’t want to feel like spending 15 minutes talking is considered “time together” and that’s been checked off the list for today’s marriage allotment. If you have to schedule time for your marriage to begin with, then do it. You have to start somewhere.
16. Consider marriage counseling. Depending on the severity of your situation, marriage counseling is often needed to help guide you to the other side of a marriage that is currently struggling to one that is flourishing again.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com