No one likes the feeling of being taken advantage of. See if you recognize the following behaviors. These 10 issues will lead to serious damage in a relationship.
1) Your Needs Are Overlooked On A Regular Basis
It’s better to give than to receive but what if your partner never prioritizes you and your needs. Some people seem to be fundamentally selfish and self-centered. These types of partners are takers and they tend to have a hard time thinking of anyone’s needs outside of their own. A healthy relationship is about give and take but constant sacrifice without ever receiving is detrimental to the well-being of your relationship.
2) Your Partner Is Emotionally Draining
Your relationship should give you an overall sense of energy, love and happiness. If you find yourself feeling emotionally drained after spending time with your partner that can be indicative that you are giving too much.
3) You Apology Even When You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong
If you find yourself regularly apologizing even when you haven’t done anything wrong, this can indicate that you are taking on too much blame and responsibility for problems within the relationship. So you may want to ask yourself, why are you doing this? Are apologies a way you use to keep the peace between you or to appease an angry or critical partner?
4) Your Partner Makes It Hard To Express Your True Feelings
Does your partner make fun of you when you try to tell them how you feel? Do they dismiss your feelings as being irrational, stupid or crazy? Are you afraid to express yourself for fear your partner will lose their temper with you again? You should be able to open up and confide your thoughts and feelings with your partner. A positive relationship promotes an open level of communication.
5) You Are The One Who Predominantly Initiates Time Together
Things really feel one-sided when you seem to be the only one making any effort to do things together or to do anything that is romantic that would improve the closeness in your relationship. Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship and it needs to be a two-way street. No one wants to beg their partner to want to connect with them. Do you or your partner feel emotionally neglected?
6) Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty For Spending Time With Your Family And Friends
This red flag behavior will be a major double standard in a one-sided relationship. A person who takes advantage of you will do whatever they want to, whenever they want to do it. However, your world shouldn’t revolve around them. They won’t be okay with you pursuing your own interests or doing things with others; even your family and friends.
7) Your Partner Downplays Your Accomplishments
You may even catch yourself downplaying your achievements in order to keep the peace or to avoid conflicts because your partner seems jealous. Accomplishments should be celebrated by both partners, not overlooked or minimized.
8) You’re Always Worried About Upsetting Your Partner
Do you worry that you must constantly be careful of what you say or how you say things because your partner may get upset? No one wants to walk on eggshells and you shouldn’t have to if your relationship has a healthy balance. Your relationship should feel safe and you should be able to express your thoughts and feelings openly.
9) Your Partner Disrespects Your Boundaries
I don’t really like the word boundaries when it comes to relationships because if you have to have them it usually indicates problems and red flags. If you have set expectations/boundaries for your partner and they regularly disrespect them and intentionally cross the lines you’ve drawn then it is a clear indication of an imbalance in your relationship. Watch out for manipulative responses from a boundary crosser. They often try to make you feel guilty or crazy by saying things like “You’re being too sensitive.” and “Nobody else complains about _______.”
10) You Never Get A Thank You From Them
A healthy relationship should have plenty of appreciation from both partners. Do you feel unloved and unappreciated? Do you feel like your acts of love and kindnesses are taken for granted? Does your partner neglect saying the simple words “Thank you”?
If you or your partner can see these issues in your relationship, consider talking with a trained therapist, either together or individually, to begin healing these wounds before it causes major setbacks for your future together.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and How To Argueproof Your Relationship. Read more of his articles at www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com